Seeing as how the last couple of days, I have seen a number of comments come up in various places about “skinny” shaming, I feel it is necessary to point this out.
THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “NATURALLY” THIN AND THE LOOK WOMEN GET WHEN THEY ARE ANOREXIC/BULIMIC.
I have thin friends, women who look exactly like the “re-touched” photos of thin women. They are not “bony”, their coloring isn’t off, they don’t have ribs showing or weird arms. The women who I know who just naturally have a slight built are proportioned, have good coloring, full heads of hair, AND… here’s the kicker, FAT! That’s right. Even “thin” women have adipose tissue. Not a lot, but enough to leave them with the sort of smooth figure that is seen in a post-Photoshopped Cameron Diaz. A flat belly isn’t a “thin” belly, it’s just a belly that doesn’t have a great deal of fat.
And that’s the problem with the thinness perception, and the backlash from the skinny… Until everyone is comfortable saying “I have fat”, when skinny women are comfortable pinching it between their fingers and saying “look, I’m normal” then we will still find ourselves living in False Dichotomy World, where people are either disgusting fat or too thin, and women are always going to be grouped into these extremes, instead of being treated as normal.
Normal women have fat, usually collecting in hips, butt, thighs, a little bit in the belly. Normal women have both smooth, flawless skin, cellulite, scars, stretch marks, birth marks, and/or uneven skin pigmentation. Normal women are the size they are, without concern of what number is present on the tag of their clothing. Normal women do not police what they eat, at meals they eat in an intuitive way and stop when they are done, and if they want a steak… THEY HAVE A STEAK.
Normal women don’t exist in our present age because we are told that so many of the markers of being “normal” are abnormal and ugly. It’s a miracle when you do find a woman, thin, fat, normal who isn’t fighting for autonomy.
I have been chewed out for being a bully too much on FB pages devoted for body positivism for pointing out the obvious: Indulging in judgements is acting out the sort of self-hate that is grilled into women from a young age by images like those in this linked post. Women who turn their own self-hatred outward by attacking other women should not be allowed to start these arguments, as women like me will damn well finish them. I’m sick of it. I KNOW I HATE MYSELF, and I know why, and I fight it and fight the standards which seek to mark me as an eternally “ruined woman”, completely destroyed and devoid of any use to society.
I have “too much” fat, deathfat, stretch marks, scars, distended skin on my belly and upper arms. I fight anemia because I have had the gastric bypass. I have a bad back, and uneven gait, and permanent damage to my body from trying to “lose” weight via lifting weights. I have lost more than half my body weight, regained most of it back and can say one thing with assurance… weight loss does not magically make you better, happier, healthier, or more in control or “together.” What it does do is make you thinner, for a short period of time, before you get fat again.
When I say now that I want to “lose weight” I am not referring to the socially loaded smoking gun that others use. I am referring to a fitter state where I am active and feel lighter. That’s all I want to feel, is lighter, so I can walk a whole day, up hills and down, without feeling out of breath or compacted under my own body mass.
That in no way entails my desire to become as ugly as Cameron Diaz… because she is ugly, and has been since after The Mask. And it’s a shame, as she was once beautiful, normal, and had a nice layer of healthy fat.