A thought for today, considering my mixed feelings about one of the subjects of Babriela Hasbun’s Fat. Fit. Fabulous! photo series (gabrielahasbun.com).
Mostly because I’ve had a taste of what “fat pride” means to others, and I must say, I’m not proud of those who claim to have this.
I will always be a little unhappy over the author of Fat!So?’s take on the gastric bypass surgery, which is so negative that it can only seek to stigmatize those members of the fat community who have had it.
It is impracticable to put forward the belief that everyone MUST NOT CHANGE their “fat bodies” as she calls them, mostly because the idea that people SHOULD NOT change is just as offensive as the idea that they SHOULD.
The operative word is “should.” To be told a decade after the fact, after I’ve made peace with my condition, learned to live with my body, and love the fact that I have developed a taste for healthier foods, that I pretty much was an idiot for having this surgery is intolerable. To be told that by her that she pretty much feels sorry for me, because I was obviously duped then, while too young and too stupid of the truth to know better, and I am apparently continuously duped now believing that I HAVE to lose weight to be healthy, because obviously if I want to lose weight, it must be for that reason and not my own (the old, well, because she wants to change her body, she MUST inherently see weight = health because that is the only way anyone can see weightloss) is embittering, alienating, and stigmatizing.
Pretty interesting thing to experience from a woman who wants to end fat stigma.
I’ll always be fat. I’m happy to say that. I’m happy to say that even when I lose the weight I want to, I’m not going to be small, skinny, frail looking, or fatless.
I am happy being me at the weight I had where it was easy to maintain, easy for me to be active, and I could wear the clothes I ENJOYED wearing for ME! I didn’t get there by dieting, or adopting some sort of stupid exercise regiment. I got there by living.
Sadly, that is not what I am doing now. I have been forced to go back to sleep to survive among the other sleepers. I’m tired of it. And I’m tired of trying to yell loud enough to wake up certain people to the idea that no matter how many stupid “Yay” scales you sell, if you can’t accept a person like me into the fold, and if you can’t speak out against those who attack me because they are personally uncomfortable with the idea of having weight loss surgery, then you have already lost your battle for body equality.