This is a picture I should have posted a while ago, to help clarify things….
Being true to ourselves means just that: Be true to yourself. It doesn’t mean being true to somebody else’s self-serving revolution. The only revolution that you need to join is yours.
I say this because now I wish I could go back and send this picture to Marilyn Wann, writer of Fat!So, and woman who told me that because I wanted to be this again, I was buying into society’s bullshit idea that weight = health.
News flash, Wann and any other who disagrees with my weight loss… MY IDEAL BODY IS STILL FAT. Yet it is a form I love, not because it looks perfect but because it felt good.
This is the body I could walk for miles in. This is the body that wasn’t in constant back pain misery. This is the body that I wasn’t afraid I would break.
I lost weight down to this to be true to the feeling that while I may always be obese, I am not morbidly obese, I am not too fat to live my life to its fullest. I am not too fat to fly places, take long walks while site-seeing. I am not too fat to be happy with my boyfriend.
I am not too fat to be beautiful and to me, being beautiful is feeling energetic.
So while I may be dissatisfied right now, I know it is a passing phase, more due to the fact that I hate my environment than the fact that I hate my life.
This time too will pass, and I will find myself in a place where I am once again happy to be. And when I am there, I will find this woman again, waiting for me to live life to its fat-happy fullest.